Why did God make brains, if we aren't going to use them?

Finally I discovered why seemingly conscious, literate and school-educated people cannot (or feel they cannot) do the simplest things. When it came time to learn something, anything – that would help in a situation they simply said “I don’t give a hoot” and turned off their brains.
Let’s suppose that brain power output can be measured in units. I don’t mean how many units of brain power a person has, just how much they should apply in a given situation, or to solve a problem. Here are some typical measurements, in a new Metric unit to be called “intellihoot”. In all the situations below the people refrained from applying intelligence, many deliberately so, to the degree indicated by the number of intellihoots.

What quantity of withheld intelligence does it really take in order to…

. You are at bus ticket window. They ask your name (in which the third and fourth letters are “ih”) You spell it slowly and make sure they’ve written “…i” before you tell them the next letter. As soon as you utter “h” they go back and erase the “i” and write “…hi”. (10 intellihoots)

. Person sneezes openly on a borrowed pencil and then hands it back to you. (20 intellihoots)

.A work-study employee has not shown up for work since last Friday. On Wednesday I call him to ask what's up. He says "You know last Friday when I came into work?" "Yes?" I respond, wondering what is coming next. Then he says "Well that was my last day." I then say "So I am getting minus 5 days notice, a negative number? That breaks all records for the least possible notice of resignation!!" I burst into scornful laughter, and there was embarrassed silence on the other end of the line. (25 intellihoots)

. I walk into a fast food restaurant to order a large coffee to go. I ask the attendant for "half decaf and half regular" She questioned me at least twice what that meant. I could see she was trying to think of a company rule or reason not to accommodate the customer. Finally I said: "Get a large cup, fill it halfway with decaf." She did this. "Now grab the regular pot and fill it the rest of the way. " Finally it was done as I asked but the expression on her face told me she felt she had made some great custom service and that she had done me a great favor. I had never had anyone freak out about that request like that before or since. (30 intellihoots)

. Parking lot is nearly empty. After you park, you open your door, get out and reach in to get your things. At that very moment someone has chosen the spot next to yours (why?), and insists on pulling into it. If you try to continue with your chore they actually glare at you and fume until you close the door and get out of their way. (35 intellihoots)

. A person leaves a fan on in the staff lounge to “cool the room.” Before they depart I say “Fans don’t cool the air. They cool people by evaporating sweat. So it just wastes electricity if no one is in a room." “Uh-uh,” they say. "When I put a fan in my bedroom window at night, it cools the room.” (40 intellihoots)

. You are tooling along in your car on a road with a 50 mph speed limit. Visibility is excellent, as the day is clear and bright. There is no one else on the road for a mile in each direction. You approach a junction with a side street and notice a car stopped there, supposedly waiting for a safe opportunity to pull out. You have now driven much closer and just when it is barely possible to brake and avoid hitting them, they pull out in front of you and go 25 mph and no faster. (45 intellihoots)

. This story from the front page of the Bangor Daily News for July 21, 2008 about a black bear that wandered into a Bangor, Maine neighborhood struck me as illustrating the warning in my August 29 blog about assuming there are simple solutions to complex social problems, as well as connecting to the theme of this posting.

“Game Warden Jim Fahey was dispatched to the neighborhood around Fairmount Park sometime after 8 am. Saturday after public safety agencies were flooded with calls about a bear wandering the streets … When Fahey arrived … a large crowd had gathered wondering what the bear might do next…
‘The bear was pretty wound up at that point and it was in a neighborhood where a lot people had gathered…’ said Sgt. Chris Simmons, a supervisor with the Maine Warden Service. ‘The warden in the Bangor neighborhood had to make a decision based predominantly on public safety. With crowds of people watching, the warden assessed the likelihood of the bear making it back to the woods without encountering a dog, without taking a swipe at a child, and without being struck by a car or causing a collision.’ ”

-- Contrary to impressions left by tv wildlife shows, which shrink time for televised events to accommodate impatient viewers with short attention spans, a tranquilizer dart doesn’t always work swiftly to incapacitate a bear. Retaining its full strength almost until it drops from the tranquilizer, the bear's behavior becomes totally unpredictable putting those nearby at risk.
-- Despite what some members of the public might think, most wardens and forest rangers love animals and appreciate unspoiled Nature. The warden assessed the risks to people and decided to shoot the bear, which obviously took presence of mind to do his duty not only because it is such a waste of a beautiful life, but also to have to do so in front of a crowd who think the wild animal is gentle and passive like Yogi Bear.
-- Ironically, after it was all over and people started in on the warden and the Warden Service, not a single person said that by crowding the bear and the warden they were a contributing cause to increasing the danger of the situation. (Everyone who crowded in as if it were a sea mammal show: 80 intellihoots.)