Who Are The "Owners of Fun"?

.. Fun is usually understood to mean hilarity or pleasing activity. But we use the word for some serious purposes too, as the absence or suppression of fun has heavy social meaning, which is more clearly demonstrated by the negative: "You took all the fun out of it!" or "Where's the fun in that?" or "Don't spoil their fun!"

.. An anecdote from the Hagar cartoon strip. Helga, glaring: "All you want to do is have fun, fun, fun!" Hagar, after a pause and with a hurt look, protests "You make it sound like that's a bad thing!"

.. And from the Appalachian Trail. One night a thru-hiker finds he must share a tenting area with, among others, two fathers camping with their exhausted and totally dismayed sons who are fighting, screaming and carrying on, keeping everyone else awake. The thru-hiker noted "They were not having any fun on this hike and didn't want anyone else to have it either."

.. And among musicians. We were a community choral group with members representing many different faiths. In a light moment our director, who also directs the choir in her church shared a photograph of her and her husband portraying Adam and Eve in a Bible story skit. Fully and properly dressed they nonetheless chose to represent our foreparents' primordial state by taping green paper fig leaves wherever modesty would require. We found this funny yet scandalous and someone remarked "We thought you folks were supposed to be kind of, you know, puritanical." Our director laughed and said "Oh we Baptists have just as much fun as anyone else, except we don't tell anybody about it!"

.. Now the inevitable story of conflict. Personal watercraft ("PWC") is the term for small motorboats designed for a single passenger/driver. They have titillating brand names like JetSki, SeaDoo, WaveRunner, and the "child" model OceanScooter. Here is how one manufacturer describes their unique propulsion system: "A jet drive pushes water using a more controlled 'rifle shot' approach in a single uniform line behind the boat. Nothing accelerates quite like a jet drive - from zero to 20 MPH in just over two seconds. Whether you are looking for a fast-paced driving experience, power for skiing activities or just cruising - this delivers the fun factor."

.. OK that part is clear enough. Now the other side. The persons who use these boats often seem oblivious to the side effects: loud propulsion noise (and which is a wobbling whine, much more annoying than an outboard motor's rumble), huge wakes, visual distraction, and the danger of collision with paddlers disadvantageously unable to move their canoes or kayaks out of the way quickly. PWCs are claimed to waste about a third of their fuel as a discharge into the water. They have a very shallow draft and so can be run nearly to the shore, which seems to be an additional attraction for their users, either for ha-ha-yuk-yuk juvenility or to show off -- yeeee-haa -- to a captive audience. And don't even think of mentioning to them the endangerment of shorebird nestlings.

.. Anecdote 1. After much exploration of Maine's public lands I finally found a large pristine lake whose shore was inaccessible by car and so required walking a mile to its beautiful sandy beach. Grandfathered before state acquisition or located on the remaining private property are only a very few shoreside cabins at the distant North end, where public boat access was also limited since the ramp area is shallow and rocky. Peaceful. Ideal.

. . One afternoon I was alternating between lying on the sand to enjoy the Sun and jumping into the refreshing coolness of its clear waters. About an hour into this Edenic experience, I saw in the distance what appeared to be a boat heading directly at me at a very high speed. The only likely explanation was that it was a ranger with urgent business, though I couldn't imagine how he might have gotten such a powerful speed boat into the lake, and what his haste could possibly be for, as there were no other people camping, or swimming at this isolated beach, and no paddlers anywhere near. Eventually it resolved into two small boats ejecting huge wakes to either side, continuing on a direct hit line with me.

.. When they were finally in range I saw that two men, apparently in their 40's, were driving their PWCs toward the beach. Arriving within about 15 feet from the shore they did a synchronous 90 degree left turn and began running along the shore, making another left turn at the end to take them out about a hundred feet, where they made another turn and then ran parallel to the shore, then two more turns to close the loop, all at top speed. After overcoming my shock I strolled out into the shallows to make sure they saw the beach was occupied and that they might be endangering swimmers. It made no difference. They continued this noisy antic for another 15 minutes and then precipitously sailed back away, never acknowledging my existence. I've witnessed other arrogant PWC user behavior, but this topped all.

.. What was their motivation? It is unlikely they came there because they could see from afar that they would have a captive audience. The best explanation is that they already knew about this unoccupied cove and wanted to reexperience their adolescence away from the disapproving looks of their families. Perhaps they were even relieved to see that the only occupant was another middle-aged man.

.. It is well understood that women's lives, even today, are bounded by societal and family expectations, restrictions and sanctions, and external risks, to the point where their rare moments of true freedom are precious. It is less commonly understood that different though equally strong bounds exist for men. Prime examples: if one is born with a male body, it is coveted by warmongers, gangleaders and others wanting to harness male power for their own ill ends. In cases where one is superlatively tall, swift of foot or arm, or robustly muscular, a male will be hounded from kindergarten to young adulthood by sports directors who see, not individuals, but pawns in their competitions against rival directors. At all times the threat of some level of male-on-male violence lurks and must be taken into account. I am speaking cynically, but you have to agree that this is all true.

.. Getting back to the jerks on the JetSkis, I can very, very grudgingly understand their need to bust loose and just be free guys in the wide open spaces, to let off steam once in a while. But why in my Eden?

.. Last anecdote. The State of Maine declared that certain lakes distinguished by their unspoiled and scenic qualities would by restricted to use only by sailboats, paddlecraft and motorboats under a certain horsepower. To my great delight, in a few cases PWCs were completely banished from particularly wild and pristine water bodies including my idyllic lake. Sweet revenge!
.. Or maybe not quite. A woman residing on one of those lakes wrote a letter to the editor of the local paper complaining "What's wrong with a little ride in a SeaDoo? It's not fair that those people want to take away our fun." And recently a man deliberately rode his PWC on one of the banned lakes. The warden who stopped him tried to adopt an understanding stance, but the man insisted on being arrested so he could make a test case. The judge agreed with him, at least in cases where a municipality has issued the ban. "The jury is still out" on bans made by state legislature.

.. Again my question: who are the Owners of Fun? Answered as with all human interaction questions: those who have the most power in the given situation.